Islam emphasizes respecting and obeying our parents, alongside a certain status, position, and rights. However, there are a lot of responsibilities that come with this. What are some of these responsibilities and how can one be the best father for our Ummah? This guide will help especially the fathers of young children.

1. Take on the role of Breadwinner and Head of the Family

Fathers are most importantly the leaders of the family, who must set good examples. Fathers are the backbone of the Family, for whom it’s mandatory to support his wife and children; to feed and clothe them as well as possible, as Al Mughni (The Enricher) Allah says in the Holy Quran;

“….. Upon the father are the mother’s provision and their clothing according to what is acceptable…. ” (Verse 2:233)

2. Responsible for teaching about Islam/ Making them suitable Muslims

All parents, counting fathers are responsible to teach their children about Islam, and will be held accountable for this in the Hereafter. The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said;

"Surely! Everyone of you is a guardian and is responsible for his charges: The Imam (ruler) of the people is a guardian and is responsible for his subjects; a man is the guardian of his family (household) and is responsible for his subjects; a woman is the guardian of her husband's home and of his children and is responsible for them; and the slave of a man is a guardian of his master's property and is responsible for it. Surely, everyone of you is a guardian and responsible for his charges." (Sahih al-Bukhari 7138, Vol. 9, Book 89, Hadith 252).

Alongside children’s formal education, fathers are also responsible for teaching religion to the children. When religion is taught early on and eventually built up, children who practice religion are expected to be pious. This could include instances as simple and easy to do as reminding family members to perform prayer. 

3. Love and Affection for Children

Even though fathers have to play the role of breadwinner, they still have to give love and care to their children, as they require it. The following hadith explains;

“Love your children. When promising something to them,  fulfill it. The only thing they know is you who give them sustenance.”(Narrated by Ath-Thahawi).

While it is hard to balance a busy life, taking out some parts of your time to spend with your children, to listen to them (and their concerns) shows that you care and love them. A good way to start this would be to participate in activities your children like to do with them.

4. Ensure you are Fair (both as a husband and in Gift Giving)

To set a good example for his children, a father must demonstrate to them that he is fair to his wife (particularly if he has more than one), as Allah, Al-Haadi (The Guide), says in the Holy Quran, 

“And you will never be able to be equal (in feeling) between wives, even if you should strive (to do so). So do not incline completely (toward one) and leave another hanging. And if you amend (your affairs) and fear Allah then indeed, Allah is ever Forgiving and Merciful.” (Verse 4:129)

While gift giving, such as toys, food, and clothing is necessary, you must always ensure it is done in a fair manner (especially in regards to daughters). As explained in the Hadith, 

“Equalize your gift to your children. If I was going to give priority to one another I would give priority to giving to the women.”(girls) ( Ath-Thabrani) 

These little habits you display can have a great influence on your children through observational learning, as they look up to you, so building healthy habits such as fairness is really important.

5. Celebrate a Newborn Baby with an Aqiqah

Any Muslim parent capable of doing so must perform aqiqah for their newborn baby to celebrate this baby. Usually, this involves slaughtering goat/ sheep/ lamb to feed to neighbors, family, etc, 7 days after the baby is born. Upon the birth of a girl, one animal is slaughtered, and upon the birth of a boy, two animals. 

“Every child is liable with (ransom) aqiqah (one or two goats/sheep/lamb) slaughtered at the age of seven days and shaved head hair (partially or wholly) and named.” ( An-Nasaa’i).

We hope these tips will benefit you and your families!