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10 Ways to Strengthen the Bond With Our Daughters!

Written by Anab Warsame

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Posted on January 22 2022

Most of every woman's dream is to have a mini-me!

A recent survey by ChannelMum.com found that 39 percent of moms want daughters. Having a daughter is always a blessing and will forever bring joy and happiness in your lives. Our daughters are growing up and maturing so fast that we tend to lose track of time. A young girl's connection with her mother is very important. This connection and strong relationship can have an impact on her self-esteem, self-worth, identity and capability to establish other connections within people in her family and life. Here are some useful ways to strengthen the bond between our daughters. These 10 ways can help build courage, a connection and deep relationship within our daughters. 

Hadith on Daughters: Your daughters are precious companions 
‘Uqbah ibn ‘Amir reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Do not hate your daughters, for they are your precious companions.” - Musnad Aḥmad 16922
 

10 Step Guide 

1. Say the words “I love you” Often.

Hearing those 3 words “I love you” as a child means a lot. Saying “I love you” to our daughters allows them to feel protected and know that her mother loves her. Once hearing those words it builds a deeper connection within our daughters as well as helps her understand that she has someone that loves her. Saying those 3 words can make our daughters less likely to feel alone at moments when she needs someone. Always remember the meaning behind the 3 words “I love you” and how it can impact our child's mood, day and emotions throughout the day. 

2. Build a Good Form of Communication Skills.

When communicating we tend to forget the different styles and strategies used behind this powerful tool. Having a good form of communication between our daughters no matter the age is an essential and will forever be important. Communicating in ways that make our daughters feel safe and appreciated will help build a healthy relationship within one another. Some different and healthy ways to improve on your communication skills would be: 

  • Set aside time for talking and listening to each other.
  • Turn off phones, computers and televisions when communicating, no form of distraction. 
  • Talk about everyday accomplishments/moments that happen as you go through your day.
  • Be open to talking about all kinds of feelings, emotions including anger, joy, frustration, fear and anxiety.
  • Have a recap after every conversation, about how it made one another feel.

These different and specific ways of communicating with our daughters can help develop new forms of interpersonal communication abilities. This can form new and fresh ways of communicating with each other as well as feeling safe to have different conversations within one another. 

3. Let Ours Daughters Know That Our Relationship is a Safe Space.

What is a safe space? A safe space is an environment or sense of comfortability in which someone can feel confident, and comfortable. Letting our daughters know that our relationship is a safe space will allow her to know that she is able to speak about different situations as well as feeling safe within our relationship. Once letting her know our relationship is a safe space, this will allow her to open up and feel comfortable.

4. Be an Active Listener to Improve on Listening Skills. 

An active listener is someone who is always aware and listening to the little details within a conversation. Being an active listener can help the relationship within our daughters tremendously. Being an active listener can help improve listening skills and enables both us and our daughters to comprehend each-others points of views as well as respond with empathy. Being an active listener to our daughters allows her to have safe conversations and feel as if someone is listening to her, and what other better person would you want to listen to than your mother!  

5. Find Common Interests to Bond and Create New Memories with. 

Common interests can be tricky to find at times. This all depends on the individual, in this case our daughters. Find what she enjoys and has interest in her day to day life, common interests can be something as small as day to day activities. Some examples of finding common interest with our daughters throughout the day and week would be: 

  • Going to the nail salon together. 
  • Watching our favourite TV show together. 
  • Going to a favourite restaurant together.
  • Cooking together. 
  • Going on a walk together. 
  • Going to the mall together. 

The key word when finding common interests with our daughters is “together.” Doing all of these different activities/ways of bonding together as a pair. Sharing the same interest will help us grow closer and accept each-others differences. This will develop new hobbies, beliefs and bring us two closer together. Finding common interest is good in ways to bond and create new memories with our daughters. 

 6. Set and Maintain Safe Boundaries.  

When it comes to boundaries, it is always good to communicate within the specific boundaries set between our daughters. Healthy boundaries can help and will maintain independence by separating our needs and wants as a mother and prioritizing our daughters feelings and emotions. Setting and maintaining safe boundaries between our daughters can help within communicating, understanding and realizing each other's emotions, feelings and inner thoughts. 

 

 7. Agree to Disagree. 

As mothers we might not always agree with our daughters' points of views. Our daughters are growing and aging really fast within today's day and age, they have their own thoughts and feelings. As mothers we might not always agree with your daughters' points of views and understand where they are coming from, and that is okay! Agreeing to disagree is the process of resolving an issue in which both us and our daughters accept each other's different views. When we agree to disagree, we acknowledge that neither of us will be able to convince the other to change each other's minds. That's when you put a stop to the disagreement and move on! Discussions occur on a regular basis and our daughters might not always agree with the different points we make in life, and that is okay. 

8. Reading Quran Together. 

Raising Muslim children it is always important to teach them about our religion. The Holy Quran is what we follow from the words of Allah as Muslims. Reading and teaching our daughters the Quran will help them create a deeper connection with Allah and make a dramatic change within our relationship. Our schedules throughout the week can always be a bit busy and challenging at times but that is okay, there is always time to bond and read the Quran together! Throughout the day or week we can set a specific time and date as to where we read one page or chapter with our daughters to build a strong connection and bond within one another and Allah. This can also be a way of creating a Mom-Daughter rituals and is a way of forming an ongoing tradition done regularly between us and our daughters throughout the week or day. It is important to show our daughters that we love and care for them in order to keep them psychologically and emotionally healthy. The Quran is a form of therapy, connecting with the Almighty. The greatest approach to achieve this as a mother is to spend quality time with our daughters on a daily basis and always remind them of our religion and the power behind Allah and the Quran.

9. Be a Positive Role Model for Our Daughter.

As other’s we play a major role in our daughters' lives, they look up to us mothers as the women behind every positive effect and moment that is going on within their lives. Our daughters and children in general observe more than what we believe, they pick up most of their qualities from us as their parents. Our daughters look up to us as mothers for guidance, advice, direction and reassurance. It is important to be a positive role model for our daughters so she came form a reflection of the type of women you are, we create an influence and impression on our daughters where she is going to try to be like her mother. Once growing up our daughters always reflect and learn their specific ways of little things in their lives that they have picked up and learnt from us as their mothers. 

10. Understand that our Daughters might not be Raised in the Same Era/Upbringing as us. 

This last step is very unique in different ways. Times have changed, we are now living in a world where the younger generation is completely different from the generations raised before us. It is important to understand that our daughters might not be raised in the same era/upbringing as us and to recognize the difference between the two societies. Communicating with our daughters and understanding what goes on in their lives will help us understand as a mother what goes on in today's world being a child. Growing up, our parents always had a more traditional and strict upbringing, understanding that there are different ways and helpful strategies to use when raising our daughters will help us understand as mothers the different ways to teach and raise them. Understanding that our daughters might not be raised in the same era/upbringing as you will help create a stronger connection and bond with our daughters. 

Useful Resources for Strengthen the Bond Between Our Daughters: 

Mother and Daughter - Muslimah - Overall covers the importance of a women in Islam and the powerful connections between a mother and daughter. This resource provides different strategies and ways of building a stronger bond with your daughter. 

Sunnahs of Expressing Love to Your Child - This is an amazing resource that implements the religious beliefs on the Sunnah and greatness of expressing the love for your child. The resources goes over the different children's rights in Islam and various of stratgies used within raising Muslim children. 

Guide for Working Muslim Moms to Raise Great Kids - Gives guidence being a Mother and raising children in Islam. This resource can help Mothers get a better understanding and guidance of the different strategies used when raising Muslim kids.